Skip a shot, not so fun

Skip a shot, not so fun, and Im not talking about a shot at the bar.

I had a tough day on Friday. It actually turned tough the night before when I realized I had forgotten to take my dose of long acting insulin the morning before. My sugars were running a bit high, and some shots of short acting insulin just didn't seem to be working..... That was the moment I realized exactly what my body was missing. Sigh. It is never a good idea to skip a medication, but the medication that is used to lower your sugar level and keep your body running is forgotten; it can have some serious consequences.

so Friday morning I take some insulin and struggle to get to work on time. I go in, make myself a cup of coffee then go sit at my desk and stare at said cup of coffee.......

Every coworker that walks in the door that morning "whoa, you don't look so good." then I get nauseous and have to go sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes or so..... I come back, extremely light headed and say I need to go home, just for an hour, until my sugar level comes down. Then I get even more dizzy and go lay down in our CAD room (where we keep our charts and maps) for another 20 minutes. Double sigh, I can see this is going to be an extremely productive day at work.

Eventually I get back to the house I am house sitting at, close my eyes for a few minutes then get up and put the laundry in the dryer (cuz I ran outta time this morning) and get dizzy and sit down. Then I take some stuff down to my truck, get dizzy, sit down. Start taking some stuff out of the fridge, get dizzy, lay down. It's almost lunch time and I have not eaten anything yet today. So I make myself a bowl of cereal, sit down and look at it until it gets soggy to eat it.... I'm not feeling so well, check sugar level and take some more short acting insulin.

It's cold in the house so I'm not having much luck napping for more than 10 minutes at a time. I decide to finish loading my stuff into my truck and move shop to my house where I will be more comfortable. After many light headed spells and rests, finally I am ready. I call work to let them know I do not plan on coming back in this day. Which is frustrating, as my sugar level is better now and I still have no strength and feel like crap.

So this is what its like to take a sick day!! I much rather would be working, but sugar is having a party in my blood stream and just won't settle down!!!!!!!!

On another note I have been following a meal plan on realage.com and blood sugars have been fantastic!! Hence that's most likely why my body is being SO sensitive to these higher sugar levels!

A word of advice, never skip medication. The older you get the deeper the consequences and the tougher it is to get back on track.

Try to take care of yourself!!!! (I am doing the best I know how and it still gets away from me at times) Challenging for sure.

Acerbic Strength

Written June 11 2007

Acerbic strength

We all have obstacles we must overcome. Mine is sugar. Sugar will try to kill me one day. It has already told me so.

Sugar talks to me. Sugar tells me all day long that it wants me. It says that it needs me. So much lust is involved that I start to hallucinate. And I am aware I am hallucinating because I know what the word crave feels like. I know how it feels to be lacking. To hanker for something you will decide in a nanosecond to surpass your judgment just to get insane relief. Aw relief. Even better. Sweet relief.

I see sugar standing there. It thought I was not noticing. So it started to shout. Then began to pout. I tried to be unaccessable. Why could sugar not do the same. It is the substance that makes my body tremble. Shall I close my eyes as I start to spasm inside of its hollow doorway. When I am in its arms it has complete power over me. Its the allergy I react to after I have already ingested it and wake up in the emergency room. Someone please oblige me in putting it into an unreachable realm!

My heart is affronted with the yearning for its fulfilling taste. The longing just to lick the smooth, gritty rainbow like substance once more. You too will want to bury your face in the navel of its syrupy goodness. But many hours go by as the sugars pour throughout my veins. Dancing and swirling inside of my body while my pancreas screams. Yelling at my kidneys to do something. Anything. It takes too long to come down after a sugar high. Would you give in to your own suicide. I do not desire to.

I claim innocence. I claim to not understand. But do I really? Do I continue to allow sugar to be my neighbor. I admit I have enabled it to hold my hand for 17 years. I ask you now if you understand. Do you understand how important it is for you to stand by me in my decision.

Will you please take this sugar down from its high shelf and occupy its attention long enough so I can kick it in the ass. Together we can create a defensive stategy. We can build a mechanism, a wall of blandness against this enemy of sweet treat threats.

Sugar I am not sorry I ruined your day. I hear your anguish. Stop shaking cute like. I am not taking you home. Pretending is only perpetuating a lie. It was once maybe all I ever knew. Sneaking in extra calories under the darkness of insufficiency and naivety. It does nothing for me now. There is no question on what I am sure of in my life. Move on over sugar you are being replaced.

I no longer lend my health to that which I wish not to be bound to. I am armed with acerbic strength. My cleverness out weighs my feeble hunger. My stamina can endure and over take this. I whisper to you, It is all in your head remember.

I give myself an autopsy of what I really need. I feel better already. Life is best without all those glittering granules anyways. These are not tears in my eyes. I know whats missing in my life. Its not dry skin and achy muscles, and toes that have no circulation. Blurry vision or numbness in the fingers. Fatigue, incessant thirst or nausea. It is sugar that aids these symptoms in happening. I know whats missing from my life. It is not sugar. Period.

Good bye feeling like crap. I have control.

Hello my name is Kate. I do not have diabetes. I live with diabetes.