Written Jan 9 2009
After a week of resting and weighing my intake of food it is perfectly clear I am headed back to the classroom to finish up the rest of the year. You only have one month left before its summer vacation, then we get to go on a trip to Minnesota and go to a diabetes camp! My mom tries to make this sound encouraging and fun, but I dont wanna go to a camp. I dont want to meet kids like me. I dont want anything to change. Change is difficult. Change is scary. Change is BAD.
Class turns out to not be so terrible, for the time being. On the plus side: is I get to bring snacks to class with me, however the con side: is that nobody else gets to bring snacks to class...
After a week of resting and weighing my intake of food it is perfectly clear I am headed back to the classroom to finish up the rest of the year. You only have one month left before its summer vacation, then we get to go on a trip to Minnesota and go to a diabetes camp! My mom tries to make this sound encouraging and fun, but I dont wanna go to a camp. I dont want to meet kids like me. I dont want anything to change. Change is difficult. Change is scary. Change is BAD.
Class turns out to not be so terrible, for the time being. On the plus side: is I get to bring snacks to class with me, however the con side: is that nobody else gets to bring snacks to class...
But the friends that were there for me before are even closer now. Jennifer thinks out loud on how she can become a diabetic too- so we can be diabetic together. Zach volunteers that he will take care of me for as long as we will be married. Oh yes we planned to be together forever (it only lasted until the ripe old age of um, like 8) Kim, well, having both of her parents experience the thrills and woes of diabetes, is just consistently here. At least one person my age knows I will not fall over and die before I am legal to drive.
This is the hardest summer of my life so far, I tell Jennifer and Kim. The diabetes camp was a bunch of counselors all telling me the same things over and over (okay yes some of it was important but also ssooooooo annoying) then they gave me a cup of cheerios, a banana, and orange juice in a plastic bag and told me mash it up to see what my stomach looks like after eating those things for breakfast. To which I was a brat and told them I wasnt allowed to drink orange juice anymore- so my stomach doesnt look like that! No my stomach only has 12 raisins, half a english muffin, and a MEASLY 1/2 A GLASS OF SKIM MILK IN IT!!!! I also told Kim and Jenn I didnt understand why I got into loads of trouble from my mom for that little "outburst" when I didnt want to go to the camp in the first place.
This is the hardest summer of my life so far, I tell Jennifer and Kim. The diabetes camp was a bunch of counselors all telling me the same things over and over (okay yes some of it was important but also ssooooooo annoying) then they gave me a cup of cheerios, a banana, and orange juice in a plastic bag and told me mash it up to see what my stomach looks like after eating those things for breakfast. To which I was a brat and told them I wasnt allowed to drink orange juice anymore- so my stomach doesnt look like that! No my stomach only has 12 raisins, half a english muffin, and a MEASLY 1/2 A GLASS OF SKIM MILK IN IT!!!! I also told Kim and Jenn I didnt understand why I got into loads of trouble from my mom for that little "outburst" when I didnt want to go to the camp in the first place.
Remember how I mentioned I was already a quiet kid? Well quiet doesnt begin to describe how I am with the new people that I meet now. My brain is trickling, streaming with questions. How will others react to knowing I have a disease. Will they treat me differently from the other kids my age. What will they ask me? Will I know the answers, oh god oh god oh god. I am always pondering and running through the various alterations of what my life will be like from now on, when before I didnt really take the time to think these thoughts. Of course a 7 year old shouldnt be required to have their mind brimming with these thoughts.
I cant seem to help establishing a better talent for back talking though, my emotions are running wild. I am finding my blood sugar to be the major cause. I worry that I used to be a good kid. But now (gulp) diabetes has made me a bad kid. When will my status change back to being "normal."
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